because Life doesn't give a shit about our vision
it doesn't care about our sacrifice
it doesn't care about our frameworks
our goodness

no

it does what it needs to do
as unfair
as devastating
as disorienting
as it is

it doesn't care

and while many of us (myself included) love to believe that we could create everything our little hearts desired
we are wrong
we are not in control
we are conditioned

anything you thought you succeeded in doing
was because the conditions were there to support it
anything you thought you shifted in your conditioning
was actually just Life conditioning you to replace your existing conditioning with more conditioning

Life will screw you and not give a fuck
it will rip the rug out from underneath you
end identities
disorient you
collapse everything you've built
eliminate all scaffolding of support
remove all warmth
cast layers upon layers of grief on your heart

it will lift any and all anchors
leaving you vulnerable to a sea of nothingness
lost in fitful patterns of attempting to regain
reorient
through your old ways that yes, are accessible in execution but not in providing any comfort

the void is a merciless place
and it will linger as long as it takes

churning
composting
tilling

until all is fertile and can hold the new

but do not be fooled

Life, it will have its way with you